No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt.


I love this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. It reminds us that we have choice, we have control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

People who decide they like who they are, the way they are, warts and all, these are the people who can succeed in many areas of their lives. Why? Because they have a healthy self-regard – that ability to respect yourself, accept yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses. This emotional intelligence skill tends to be associated with feelings of self-worth, self-confidence, inner strength, belief in yourself and your capabilities.


Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them. ~ T. Harv Eker

Going Deeper into Self-Regard

How can you get there? Here are 8 questions for you to reflect on to increase your usage of this emotional intelligence skill of self-regard.

  • What are my top professional and/or personal goals for the next 12 months? Which one is the biggest goal?
  • If I knew I could not fail in a BHAG (a big, hairy audacious goal) of mine, what is the first thing I would do?
  • Why is this goal important to me?
  • What does it look like when I achieve this goal? Be specific in the details (where am I, who is there, what am I doing, – the more specific you are the easier it is for your mind to see it when opportunities to achieve it start coming your way).
  • If I knew I could not fail in a BHAG (a big, hairy audacious goal) of mine, what is the first thing I would do?
  • How can I use my strengths to achieve more of my goals?
  • How can I overcome my weaknesses on the way to achieving my goals?
  • What is the bravest thing I could do right now to move toward my BHAG?

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~ Dale Carnegie

Be brave. Look honestly at yourself and recognize both your strengths and weaknesses. Good leaders have good self-regard. Who wants to follow a leader who doesn’t believe in themselves?

Another self-affirming exercise you can do is to look at your list of strengths and pick your greatest strength. Write it at the top of a new piece of paper. Every night this week write down at least one thing that shows how this strength has helped you in various situations during the day. This will bring your focus onto this strength, growing your confidence in this area, and your awareness of how often you use it. Your self-regard will grow as you become more aware of your strengths!

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For the next skill in the Emotional Intelligence series – Self-Actualization, click here.